#9 - Pizza from Pizzeria Mozza

“What’s a blog???” said my Dad on the way to our first meal during a recent weeklong stay for the Hundgen clan. Well, this should be interesting…

You may already know Karen, Stephen and Kim from their last appearance on the blog for our Thanksgiving extravanganza. Or you may know them because you’ve met them in real life…and for that, I express my deepest condolences.

All (half)-joking aside, my parents brought nothing but laughter and tears of joy to my friends throughout their weeklong trip…and brought nothing but deep embarrassment to me through countless stories of “Mike - everyone’s favorite chubby teenager”. (Seriously Mom, how many times must we remind people I struck out…at T-Ball).

If Karen, Stephen and Kim were to be cast on a television show or, who am I kidding - Karen wouldn’t settle for less than a major motion picture, the breakdown would look something like this:

Kim Hundgen – Sometimes moody, always ‘sporty’, this character has a knack for losing cell phones (10 in two years) and breakd cameras (“It fell in the ocean” was the latest gem). Also, Meryl Streep may issue a restraining order if Kim’s doesn’t seek professional help to overcome her obsession with this woman.

Stephen Hundgen – features that resemble a cross between Brian Dennehy and the Dad from “Boy Meets World”. Stephen’s Facebook page includes “likes” for Jack Nicholson, Robert Dinero, Al Pacino, “Boardwalk Empire” and the “Sopranos”…does this guy love romantic comedies or what?

Karen Hundgen – Take a dash of Suze Orman’s style combined with the lipstick from Leslie Stahl and then load it up with Joy Behar’s ‘New Yawk’ attitude (beau font hair included) and you have Karen in a nutshell. Best described as “An Event”, Karen leaves her mark wherever she goes. Wallflowers and introverts beware, Karen will get your “story” whether you like it or not.

Since the family is only in town together once every year or so, I wanted to include them on a pLAte that I knew would be a surefire hit. Let’s be honest, there was no way in hell I’d be able to get Karen to someplace like Alhambra or Altadena and I don’t think Stephen would be into trying the fish kidneys from Jitlada. So for our “Meet the Parents” edition of 99 pLAtes we visited (along with Jessie and John) Pizzeria Mozza, best known for its mouth-wateringly-good pizza pies.

Mom – “So what’s the pLAte, what do we have to order”.

Me – “I don’t know…it just says pizza. Usually the author is very specific on what to get. I don’t know what to do…I mean I could investigate further.”

Mom – “Michael relax…who cares, so what…we’ll order a bunch of pizzas and talk about all of em.”

And that is exactly what we did. We ordered 5 Pizzas total plus a Chop Salad, Fried Squash Blossoms with Ricotta, White Beans ala Toscana and of course the famous Meatballs. Quite the meal for a light lunch…thank god for that Amex (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)…right Dad???

With our orders in (apologies to the waiter that Mom has already started sizing up for a proper Q and A session) the discussion turned to technology. Dad was raving about his newest toy the iPad…

Dad - “I mean I’ve got the g3’s now…it works anywhere!”.

Me – “Dad, it’s 3G.”

Dad- “That’s what I said, g3!”

Me - <sigh>

Meanwhile, Mom was amazed by the new fangled Dyson Hand Air Dryer in the bathrooms.

Mom – “We don’t have these in North Carolina, they are really hip out here in California. I wanted to stick my head in that thing, I bet it would be a good hair dryer.”

Dad - <sigh>

The appetizers arrived not a moment too soon. As the plates were passed around and forks divied up the squash blossoms, salad and meatballs everyone appeared to be on taste sensory overload. Karen exclaimed, “Oh my GAWD. These are the way meatballs should taste.” (which may or may not have been a subtle dig at her mother-in-laws meatballs).

It goes without saying that the food at Mozza is delicious. Everyone who’s lived in or visited LA in the past five years knows this place delivers time after time. It’s one thing to be great on your first visit, but the consistency is what continues to impress me when eating at Mozza. If they could just build a better waiting area…I’d be a pig in truffle butter.

Our pizzas came out next. “You know he has really nice eyes, they are so green. I bet he is an actor,” Karen claimed. This poor waiter…

The Lineup

Egg Guanccle Escarole

Tasted like a bacon, egg and cheese

Radisccio Bogna Cuda

Mozza’s version of a Pizza Hut Meatlovers Pie

Fennel Sausage, Red Onions, Scallions

My standby, I order it every time

Coach Farm Goat Cheese

With so many other creative toppings, this one was a bit too boring

Leeks, Scallions Garlic Bacon

Where do leeks come from and why do they taste so good?

After several more “OMG’s” around the table mostly about the food (Kim’s OMG was for seeing a character from “The Hills” saddled up at the bar), everyone agreed that Mozza was a winning pLAte. Nearly five years in LA and I still haven’t found a better slice of pizza.

With the dishes cleared and the check paid –phew, thanks Dad- Mom still had a mission to fulfill.

Mom – “Well, I think we should tell him about the blog”

Me – “Mom, we aren’t telling the waiter about my little food blog.”

Mom – “Why not, I bet he’ll read it…I mean he has such nice eyes.”

Me – “Mom! No, no, no! I don’t want to get into a fight about this.”

Care to guess who won that argument?

Pizzeria Mozza

641 N Highland Ave

Los Angeles, CA 90036

#8 - Cha Chiang Mein from Mandarin House

It’s a New Year and we are expanding to new destinations here on 99pLAtes. I’ll be the first to admit, for the first seven locations on the list of 99 Things to Eat Before You Die, we played things pretty safe. Restaurants like Little Dom’s in Los Feliz, Comme Ca in West Hollywood and even Fab’s Hot Dogs in The Valley (a location that isn’t as bad as it was portrayed on Saved by the Bell) were pretty safe bets for the launch of this food-venture through Los Angeles.

So for our first pLAte of 2011, I decided to venture to the Far East (far east of La Brea that is) to Koreatown. Mandarin House (if it sounds a little less Korean and more Chinese…that’s because it is) serves up the classic variations of Asian inspired chicken, beef, pork and shrimp dishes. However, the restaurant is specially known for its hand pulled noodles. See usually when you order that House Special Lo-Mein or Moo Goo Gai-Pan (which doesn’t actually have noodles, I just like saying it), the noodles come dry like a box of Barilla pasta. Not at Mandarin House…they actually stretch and cut their noodles right in the back of the house.

Surprisingly we actually got a big crew to make the trek (anything over 4 miles in LA) to Koreatown. Our friend Brian, who popped his 99pLAtes cherry, joined me and series regulars Jessie and John for dinner. Best of all, Carly and her co-worker Rivka were visiting from NYC and were eager to join for a pLAte. 

They soon became not so eager when they weren’t able to even find the restaurant.

Turns out everything in Koreatown is written in Korean.

Things You Need to Know About Carly:

1. Carly was Jessie’s roommate for four years of college – oh the stories we could tell…
2. She is one of three certified historians at the Roosevelt Island Historical Society. [FUN FACT – Roosevelt Island was actually called Welfare Island til the 70’s. The name was changed when welfare became un-PC]
3.  Her pinky is permanently bent.

Carly and Rivka both work for Norton (not the Antivirus) Anthologies and were in town for the big MLA Convention (Comic-Con for people who read) happening in Downtown LA. Lost yet? So was I, but Carly assured me that her company’s collection is home to the A-Listers of literati. Move over Britney and Paris – Huck Finn and Hester Prynne have hit Hollywood.

With introductions out of the way, it was time to get down to ordering. The menu was, to say the least…exotic. While the “Cold Jelly Fish” and the “Thousand Year Eggs” sounded delightful, I personally prefer my eggs to be from this millennium. We attempted to get some recommendations from our waitress and it went something like this:

John – “What is Happy Family?”

Waitress – “Oh you know…it’s good.”

John – [Stares]

Waitress – [Smiles]

With this invaluable information, the group ended up settling on some traditional dishes like Mongolian Beef, Chicken Chow Mein, Dumplings and the aforementioned noodle required pLAte, Cha Chiang Mein.

Not soon after we had explained what happens at circuit parties to Carly (she thought they had to do with electricity and touching – not too far off actually) our still-smiling waitress presented a heaping bowl of Cha Chiang Mein. 

Covered in a black bean-based sauce with bits of pork peppered throughout, the whole table hoped the homemade noodles would live up to their reputation. With the noodles doled out, we played the first impressions game (fun to play with people and as it turns out food). Here are the results:

Jessie:   Certain sweetness, but other than that….

Brian:    I like the Mongolian Beef.

Carly:    They taste like the noodles you get at Duane Reade.

Rivka:    Duane Reade Noodles taste better.

John:     There’s a word for it, but I haven’t found it yet….

Me:        The word is Slimy.

The reviews weren’t glowing, to say the least. What was glowing was our Sweet and Sour Shrimp…literally…

 That neon orange is loud enough to make the late 80’s feel jealous.

Needless to say, none of the food at Mandarin House really wowed anyone at the table. John summed it up best:

John – “The food may be bland but the company is delightful.”

Everyone Else – “GROAN”

At this point, the only thing that could save this from being the worst pLAte to date was a great fortune cookie. After all, I’d need a way to nicely close out this post and a witty pun tied to my 2011 fortune would work perfectly!

No fortune cookies…just mints? What kind of Chinese Restaurant in Koreatown is this?

Me to the Waitress – “Where is the tiny smiley-faced piece of paper wrapped inside a bland cookie? What are my lucky numbers for the week?? What does 2011 have in store for me???”

Waitress - “Oh you know…it’s good.” 

Mandarin House

3074 W 8th St

Los Angeles, CA 90005

(213) 386-8976

What I Ate for Winter Vacation

Happy New Year my fellow foodie followers! With the passing of another year, you may be breathing easy after your winter break. You might be bright with the possibilities of 2011. Or (if you are anything like me) you feel big, bulky and BLOATED from two straight weeks of eating.

After visits to Orlando, New Jersey, NYC and Boston, I inhaled enough food to rival the size of the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock. But hey, it wouldn’t be Christmas without a little indulgence. And it wouldn’t be me unless there was a heaping amount of indulgence.

This week we’ll relive the ghosts of my food-filled Christmas past. Next week we’ll be back to fulfilling the pLAte prophecies of 2011’s future. As for the present, you can catch me taking a jog through Los Angeles…all week long.

The skinny jeans started getting snug even before we left with a roommate bruncheon featuring our contribution to the 12 Days of Christmas…

12 Ounce Bloody Mary’s, two Spicy Scrambles and a kick off to two weeks of Gluttony!

LAX > MCO and the beginning of the Disney World Dining Plan.

Here's how it breaks down:

One Sit Down Entree, Drink, Dessert

+ One Counter Service Entree, Drink, Dessert

+ One Snack

x 6 Days!!!

= The reason why people need to go on The Biggest Loser!

This is what happens when you request 12 pounds of salmon from the chef at the Hoop de Doo review...

This is what you feel like after eating 12 pounds of salmon...

And of course there were drinks...

...and more drinks...

No ounce of the Maui Wowee was left unturned

Even the stuffed animals were getting in on the action.

MCO > EWR

Commence New York City lunch launch sequence in 5, 4, 3....

I'd go on showing the food I devoured, but this is getting a little embarrassing...

Correction: This is now REALLY embarrassing.

I hope your holiday season was filled with as much festive foodie fun as mine. And I hope I can get away with wearing my relaxed fit jeans for at least a week.

We'll be back soon with another pLAte.

Now that I think about it, maybe I can stretch those relaxed fits for two weeks....