Foo-Detour - Santa Ana Racetrack

Pack your oat bags kids…99pLAtes is taking a trip to the races this week, horse races that is!

-Cue the bugle horn-

Dubbed the ‘Sport of Kings’ (thank you “Sports Night”), horse racing has long been a part of my family’s history. No we didn’t own Seabiscuit, my Great-Uncle Stanley used to work at Yonkers Raceway in Westchester, New York. So when Jessie’s BF, Robby, suggested we pay a visit to Santa Ana Racetrack for their Food Truck Festival, I dusted off my floppy sun hat, slurped a mint julep and moseyed on outta the Wild West (Hollywood) for a day at the races.

“There are going to be over 20 trucks here,” Melissa (the vegan) proclaimed from the back seat.

Melissa - “Yep, I did my homework…Lobsta Truck, Lardon Truck, Crepe N’ Around. Personally I want to try the Pokey Tuna Taco.”

Me – “They turned Gumby’s horse into taco meat???”

The Car – “GROANNNN!!!”

As the car conversation ranged from crazy dreams (Melissa’s latest included being chased by bobcats) and Oprah’s OWN Channel (If you aren’t watching “Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes” you are seriously missing TV gold), we finally pulled into the parking lot of the gorgeous Santa Anita racetrack.

Robby – “Where am I supposed to park? Are these tandem spots?”

Jessie – “I’m not sure…”

Me – “Yea they are tandem, just like Disneyland!”
Robby – “Mike, not everything is like Disneyland!!!”

We walked in with our racetrack appropriate outfits. Jessie with her saddle bag, Melissa with riding boots, Robby with a vintage 1989 Breeder’s Cup shirt…

…and me with my skinny jeans and puffy vest. It’s all the rage in jockey couture these days.

As we entered the gates, our stomachs started growling and the food trucks were waiting…so it was off to the infield for some lunch.

Jessie – “I want the grilled cheese truck…”

Melissa – “Oooohh they have an Indian Truck called NaanStop!”

Robby – “Are you kidding me, I am so excited for some Korean BBQ.”

Me – “Did you see the size of that…”

LINES! LINES! LINES!

For those of you who have already visited these Food Truck Festivals, you probably know what we soon found out…they are a complete nightmare! Throngs of Silverlake Hipsters and Hollywood Yuppies stretched hundreds of feet just to get their hands on a moderately-sized, overly-priced portions of food made in a kitchen no bigger than a horses stable. You could literally drive to Mexico and back before being served a burrito from the Kogi Truck.

It was time for Plan B, which meant a trip to The Winner’s Circle Cafe, featuring the classiest food you can muster up in the beer-drenched hallways of a racetrack.

Melissa and I went the safe route with a Tuna and Turkey Sandwich respectively. 

I watched as Melissa heaved a third helping of relish on her sandwich. “It’s the only way this thing is going to have any taste…” she claimed. Jessie meanwhile took the adventurous route and split a Chicken Enchilada Plate with Robby.

Jessie - “It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Sounds like a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one. Robby’s friend Lindsay ended up joining us and ordered the Spicy Sausage Link, which was literally peppered with an ‘orbit of spices’.

 

We did manage to squeeze out one Food Truck creation – The Chunk N’ Chip Ice Cream truck served up handmade ice cream sandwiches with cookies straight from the oven. Melissa ordered the Blondie Bliss (White Chocolate Chip Cookies with Walnut and Coconut Ice Cream) and I did the Butter My Velvet (Red Velvet Cookies, Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream).

The cookies were warm, the ice cream was delicious and but were they worth the wait in line? NotSoMuch.com

With our stomach’s full, it was time to get to some serious betting.

Lindsey – “You want to be on the ones with perky ears. That’s a good sign.”

Melissa – “They’re all perky!!!”

I learned after a few races there are three things I like most about the racetrack.

1. The names of the horses are insanely creative. Some of the best of the day included - Guadalupe Lupe, Meshuguna, Dance with Gable and my personal favorite – Lady Railrider.
2. The way everyone slaps their program in their hands, as if it encourages the horses to run faster.
3. The phrase “Post Haste”

Despite playing every Superfecta combination I though possible, I didn’t win a single race. In fact, the only person who won anything was Melissa. But that’s only because she flirted with the horse before the race…

Robby – “Well guys, we spent all our money and waited in lines for hours, but at least we have the memories right?”

Mike – “Sounds like a day at Disneyland to me!”

#11 - Akasha's Quinoa w/ Edamame

Planning a dinner with Melissa usually goes something like this:

Melissa – Where do you guys want to go eat? I don’t want to choose.

Me – I just heard about this new brick oven pizza place on 3^rd, let’s try that.

Melissa – And what am I supposed to eat, everything is going to be covered in globs of cheese.

Adam – How about sushi, I could be down for Izakaya or something.

Melissa – I am looking at the menu and there is like 1 option there for me.

Me & Adam – ARHHHHGGGHH!

You’d think Melissa might have extreme food allergies or maybe she just likes to be difficult (ding ding!), but alas Melissa’s real reason for being so picky comes from being a VEGAN. (We watched the movie Fast Food Nation, I fell asleep before the main titles ended, Melissa went off the deep end). Vegan means no animal by-products whatsoever. Meat, fish, eggs, dairy, butter and basically anything that tastes remotely good are OUT on her food plan. (Needless to say, I couldn’t last a few hours without a frozen yogurt fix).

So when Melissa asked to join for a pLAte, I sent the list of 89 remaining spots over so she could give US the options. Surprisingly we were sent back a list of about 8 or so choices and we settled on Akasha, a restaurant with an urban loft-like feel nestled in the newly reinvigorated Culver City.

It had been almost a year since Meredith, Adam, Melissa and I got together for a dinner, mostly because of the infamous Mother’s Day Meltdown of 2010, which kept several parties apart for nearly 7 months. I played the role of innocent bystander (having your own blog gives you liberty to rewrite history). But with everyone Kosher again, we were all looking forward to a night of mildly inappropriate insults flying across the table.

The pLAte to be ordered at Akasha is Quinoa with Edamame. However, the menu only listen two kinds of quinoas, one with chicken and the other with market fresh vegetables.

Adam – Have you ever encountered this before? The pLAte isn’t on the menu!

We asked the waitress and indeed, edamame is not on the menu tonight. Knowing quinoa for dinner wouldn’t be enough, I suggested Melissa and I share dishes. She went with the Punjabi Mung Beans (I mean…) and I ordered the Market Vegetable Quinoa.

Waitress – Do you want chicken or tofu with that quinoa?

Me – Umm, I will go with chi….

Melissa – TOFU!

Me – Right, tofu…(internal groan).

Melissa – Look at you going vegan tonight!

As if I had a choice…

Adam ordered off the DineLA menu and went with Scallops and a German chocolate cake for dessert. Meredith went exotic with her choice…a turkey burger.

Meredith – Is it possible to get no bun?

Waitress – Sure!

Melissa – What the hell are you doing?

This coming from a vegan mind you…

We also ordered a basked of onion rings (per Jonathan Gold’s suggestion) for the table.

After enlightening discussions about whether all beans come in pods (they do) and if I was allowed to share Melissa’s sexual exploits on the blog (I don’t), the onion rings landed in the middle of the table.

Meredith - You know how sometimes you bite into onion rings and they fall apart, these are perfect.

The rings had the perfect breading to onion ratio and almost snapped apart instead of crumbling into a mushy mess.

Next up, the entrees. So how would my first foray into vegan eating begin? 

Me – Meh.

Melissa – Oh, shutup! Michael doesn’t like it because it wasn’t alive once!

Here’s the thing…the quinoa was good. It was tender, not overcooked, well seasoned. Is it something I HAVE to eat before I die? I’m not so sure…If I learned anything from the Lion King, it is that we are all part of the great big Circle of Life and according to Rafiki, eating meat is okay.

Melissa – Well, I don’t care what you say. This is a nice piece of tofu.

Nice piece of tofu??? What does that even mean? Was that bean curd nurtured better than the next?

The Punjabi Mung Bean dish actually had a lot more going for it. Along with the lentil-like bean mush (for lack of a better word) the Naan bread and dipping sauces were a nice flavor injection to the dish.

Meredith and Adam ended up switching plates halfway through the meal. The melted gruyere on the bunless turkey burger called to Adam, while the slightly undercooked scallops were better received by Meredith.

We ended the meal with a slice of German Chocolate Cake and a Salty Chocolate Peanut Bar. Despite lofty expectations, the best part of each dish was the ice cream on the side. Besides, who needs $9 desserts when you have these babies in your bag…

It was Girl Scout Cookie Day at work and Thin Mints beat dry cake any day of the week.

Melissa – So Michael how does this work now? You write the blog, you pay the bill?

Keep it up Melissa…next time we do dinner it will be at In-N-Out.

Akasha

9543 Culver Boulevard

Culver City, CA 90232