#20 - Musso & Frank's Welsh Rarebit

A few weeks, months back (we took a fall hiatus) my ex-work wife Emily (we got divorced when I quit the job) asked to be taken on a pLAte adventure. After sending her the full list Emily immediately zeroed in on Lou’s in Hollywood because the pLAte is actually a drink.

“You picked the right girl for a liquid dinner!” Emily g-chatted and off we went later that night to Lou’s. Upon arrival – two hour wait at the door. Strike One.

“I know, Loteria is right around the corner. That’s on the list, let’s go there.” Upon arrival – closed for a private party. Strike Two.

“Well there is always Musso and Franks. Technically that’s on the list too,” I said. We both looked up at the neon sign, took a deep breath and in we went.

Featured prominently on Hollywood Boulevard, Musso & Franks bills itself as the oldest restaurant in Hollywood. Take a walk inside the doors and you’ll see why. High booths covered in decade old leather upholstery fill the dining room. Alongside the left wall an empty lunch-style counter looks as if it hasn’t seen any regular action since 1919.

“Listen, we don’t have to do this,” I told Emily as our maître-d (tux and all) started shuffling us towards one of the booths in the back. “Nah, we’re already here,” Emily said. “You are going to have to cross the pLAte off your list eventually”.

I know it sounds as if I’m being extra tough, don’t get me wrong. I actually love diners, drive-ins and dives (not the show, the actual places). It’s just that there is something depressing about a restaurant that is well past its prime. But before I fully judged the experience – we had to try the pLAte.

Welsh rarebit (which up until that night I thought we were having rabbit) is the must-have at Musso & Franks. “Oh I know what that is…I’ve made it!” Emily exclaimed. 

“Well that explains the clientele in here,” I chimed. Besides the rarebit, we took a look at what else might be worth sampling on the menu. Some of the mouth-watering offerings include: Jell Consommé, Potatoes Lyonnaise, Low Cal Plate, Grenadine of Beef, Appetizer Franks and a Flannel Cake (only til 3pm).

“What a weird place.” Emily deduced. The game plan was to start with some drinks (Bourbon Sidecar Margarita for me and a Gin Martini for Emily), order the rarebit and then go from there.

Turns out, this waspy-sounding dish is actually pretty basic. Tomatoes, cheese, bacon and bread to dunk is what goes into the welsh rarebit. Bacon and cheese, that’s my kind of food. How could it get any better? This has got to be a guaranteed homerun right? Wrong.

“Look it’s the same color as my nail polish.” Emily pointed out. I dug into the dish hoping that looks can be deceiving. I mean, the cheesy, gloopy sauce wasn’t terrible…but it sort of tasted like what would happen if you nuked some nacho cheese and poured it over some soggy bacon. Now some people may be into that, but those are probably the same people who head straight for the deep fried butter at the state fair.

“At least the bread is good.” I sighed.

“It looks like leftover toast from this morning’s breakfast.” Emily said as she wiggled a piece over the dish. “This whole thing is like poo on a plate.” Now that’s an endorsement if I’ve ever heard one.

Next up after the rarebit…nothing. Much to our ancient waiter’s surprise, we paid the bill and left. Strike Three. We’re out.

Even though the food was a total bust Emily, look on the bright side – you did get that liquid dinner you asked for.

Musso and Franks

6667 Hollywood Boulevard

Los Angeles, CA 90028

#19 - Lawry's Prime Rib

“I want to be on the Plates!” was my Aunt Cat’s (ironically Aunt Cat owns a dog) only stipulation for our dinner plans during her trip to Los Angeles. Now if I had a nickel for every time an out-of-town visitor has asked to be on 99 pLAtes, I’d probably have a quarter by now...regardless, I promised Aunt Cat she’d be a featured guest diner.

A little history first...my Aunt Cat isn’t actually an Aunt by blood, she’s been my mom’s best friend for 30+ years. However, after countless summers on the Jersey Shore (the classy part), a 7-day trip to Walt Disney World (to-the-minute itinerary included) and way too many cosmos/margaritas/martinis -- she has become my personal Fairy Godmother. So when I walked into Lawry’s Prime RIb on La Cienega on a recent Friday night, it was a thrill to finally see her and Uncle Gary on my California turf for the first time.

Now you probably know Lawry’s as the powdered seasoning you use to spice up your meats (“Oh I never made the connection”- Aunt Cat), but Lawry’s actually runs a restaurant right here in LA. For over 73 years, they’ve been serving up the “best prime rib in the country”. (“We’ll be the judge of that!” -- Uncle Gary)

Before being seated, we sipped on a few drinks in the bar and reminisced over the cancellation of Aunt Cat’s favorite show - Brothers & Sisters.

Aunt Cat - “I’m gonna miss it, but honestly...everyone was having sex with everyone on that show!”
Me - “Let’s face it -- Sally Field is a fox!”
Uncle Gary - “Time for dinner!”

And with that, we entered the massive Lawry’s dining room. Stepping down the stairs and into our booth, I couldn’t help but feel like I was in an entirely different era. Floral carpeting spreads along the floors, massive banquettes line the walls and a bevy of waitresses dressed in their original 1970’s outfits buzz from table to table.

“We tried to get rid of the hats - but the guests complained,” our chipper waitress Pamela explained. In a city obsessed with the flashiest clothes, agency buzz and twitter trends...it’s comforting to know there are places like Lawry’s to remind us of the Hollywood of the past.

“So how does this work?” Aunt Cat asked. The menu is pretty straightforward at Lawry’s - you can order other meats (chicken, pork, fish), but let’s be honest if the restaurants title includes the word “prime rib” you probably ought to take the hint. The only question is -- which cut of beef to order? Aunt Cat and I skipped the smaller California portion and went for the medium-sized Lawry Cut. Uncle Gary went for the Diamond Jim Brady size (which sounds more like a ski trail than and massive cut of beef).

 
Each meal comes with a slew of extras on the side. To start we were served a Spinning Bowl Salad. Pamela literally tossed a bowl of salad and spun it in a bucket of ice before serving. Why you ask? I was on my third drink (I told you about Aunt Cat and the martinis right?) and completely forgot to fulfill my reporting duties. We also enjoyed a Shrimp Cocktail, which is always one of those things I want to order but never feel like it is worth it. At Lawry’s - the shrimp are massive and TOTALLY worth it.

 

 

Not 15 minutes after enjoying our appetizers, a massive steel contraption rolled up to the side of our table. Dubbed a ‘traveling oven’, chefs literally carve your cut of beef right in front of you. It’s like the American version of a Japanese hibachi restaurant (minus the awesome knife tricks). Alongside your hunk of prime rib, the chef serves a generous side of mashed potatoes, 

spinach/peas and whipped cream horseradish. Each table also receives a serving of yorkshire pudding (which incidentily tastes like a pancake) for the group.

“Gary I bet you feel like you died and went to heaven!” Aunt Cat exclaimed as we all stared at his Fred Flinstone-sized portion of meat. As I write this, my mouth is literally watering from the juicy taste of Lawry’s prime rib. For 30 years the restaurant has used the same beef company and the quality is superb. This is one of those meals I’ll remember for a loooong time - not only because of the great food, but because of how stuffed I was trying to cram it all in.

We topped the meal off with a slice of banana cream pie and a food-induced hangover that lasted the entire weekend. Any regrets you ask? I only wish I had been able to sneak one of those traveling ovens out the back door.

                     

Lawry’s Prime Rib

100 N. La Cienega Blvd.

Beverly Hills, CA 90211

 

#18 - Huckleberry's Maple Bacon Biscuits

Guest Blogger Alert!
Say hello to the woman who inspired 99pLAtes - Kelly Novitski!


Well, hello there 99 pLAte readers!  I intended to start this blog with a little “about me” intro but then I realized Michael did me justice here (though please note he had never even been to my apartment when he described it as “a wicked pad” and invited everyone he knows to come crash here).  Thanks to that introduction highlighting all my finest qualities, I decided to just cut to the chase and say what I’ve been wanting to say directly to all of you faithful readers for over a year now: “You’re welcome!” 

Yep, I sent the email to John about the food list which John forwarded to Michael which Michael saw as a foodie challenge (clearly not reading the plate about the live octopus at San Nak Ji in Koreatown—seriously who is going to go eat that with him?!) thus prompting him to start this blog which, let’s be honest, is another challenge entirely.  How do I know Michael feels challenged by this whole blog/food thing?  Because most times I see Michael in LA or NYC it goes something like this:

[Convo over a really good/unique/interesting plate of food]

So cut to mid-May when I’m preparing for my bi-annual trip to LA to visit John (read: John, Michael & Disneyland)

Michael sends me an email with information on the plates he has left: “Pick a pLAte for when you’re out here!”   I took a few minutes to read through the list (admittedly the first time I actually looked at most of it despite being the one that sent it along in the first place).  Here it is in three categories: 

A) Ooh!  YUM!  This sounds amazing! (Approx. 10 items)

B) Ugh, I guess, I could eat if I want to fool anyone into believing I’m even remotely an adventurous eater (Approx. 5 items) 

and

C) HELL NO, I would NEVER eat that/ I can’t believe Michael committed to this nonsense!   (Approx. 84 items)

Needless to say the list I sent back included about 3 items from A, 2 from B, and 0 from C. 

Thankfully Michael took me up on my first suggestion: the “Maple-Bacon Biscuit” at Huckleberry in Santa Monica!

[Side note: if you’re keeping tabs on my blog adventures—which I’m sure you’re not—you’ll notice that this is the third pLAte I’ve been in on that includes bacon!  I heart a theme!]

And then Michael finally asked me the question I’ve been waiting over a year to hear…

Michael: Wanna guest blog?

Me: YES!!  I’m so honored you asked me!!   I’ve been waiting for so long!  I’m so excited!

Michael [half-listening and already perusing the case of exceptional looking food at the counter you order from]: Mmmhmm…yeah…okay….you’ll be great…

The line was plenty long—though it moved fairly quickly-- so there was lots of time to read through the menu to pick your meal.  We each flip-flopped between a number of delicious sounding items before settling on the following: Huevos Rancheros (me), Poached Eggs over fresh market vegetables with pesto and breadcrumbs (Michael) and Fried Egg Sandwich (John).  And of course we got one biscuit to share!

We then made our way through the packed seating area to a recently vacated table* and plopped down our number so the waiter would know where to drop off the food once it was ready.

The biscuit came first so we were able to give the official pLAte our full attention.

Michael: I think it’s kind of dry.  I wish it were flaky…it’s more just crumbly!

John: The bacon is waaay hidden in this thing.

Me: I think it’s a good mix of sweet and savory, though!  It’s definitely better on the inside. 

Michael: I so wanted to love this!  But I don’t…

Me: I feel like it would be better if we had something to eat it with.  We need eggs or something!

John: Too late.  We ate it all.

Just then our food arrived.    It looked amazing and super fresh and smelled even better!

        

Michael [one bite into his “Poached Eggs over fresh market vegetables with pesto and breadcrumbs”]: Anyone wanna switch?  I hate pesto!**

John: Nope.  I’m pretty happy with my sandwich even though this bread is so sharp I feel like it’s cutting the inside of my mouth!

Me: My Huevos Rancheros are good albeit not as spicy as I’d like…I’ll trade you!

Michael: Naahhh…I’m not really in the mood for Huevos Rancheros.  It’s okay, I’ll just deal with this pesto dish that I totally hate…

John: Fiiiine, we can switch!

The meal continued on, blah, blah, blah.  I took notes on the back of some piece of paper Michael gave me with information about an Old Spice YouTube media campaign on the front of it.  I had all sorts of clever ideas rolling around in my head about how witty and fun I’d make my first guest blogging experience!  Seriously…I had all sorts of high hopes!  And then the rest of the trip happened, I returned to NYC, lost the notes, found the notes, considered starting the blog, opened a word document and wrote “Huckleberry” at the top, saved the document to continue when feeling “more inspired,” tried to write again, got sidetracked trying to figure out why my Tivo picked up a show called “My Yard Goes Disney” and then produced what you’re reading right now—two months after we ate that meal back in May.

So let’s just say my first guest blog is also going to be my last.  And Michael, if I ever try to convince you how “easy” it is to throw some words and pictures together to create a post again, I give you full permission to remind me that San Nak Ji in Koreatown is still on the list and that you’re looking for someone to join you on that adventure…I have no doubts it will shut me up.  Right. Quick.

*There may or may not be a story about me eating a bite of the dessert that was left on the table by the previous diners but let me just be clear that if that did happen I’d like to state that I ate from the side that had not been previously touched (and it was damn good and I don’t regret it despite the two Judge Judys sitting across the table from me…).

**Let’s just be clear that the menu did not hide the fact there was pesto in this dish!

Huckleberry
1014 Wilshire Blvd.
Santa Monica, CA 90404

#17 – Border Grill’s Green Corn Tamale

Right before her visit from New York, I received this email from our friend Abby:

Mike,

I will be in LA next week and, if time allows, I would like to request a restaurant adventure for your blog.  A few ideas to explore:

fish tacos

tasty vegetarian

finger-licking BBQ

pasta porn

A few things you should know about Abby right off the bat:

1.   She is an extremely good planner. In fact I got that email a full 2 weeks before her arrival. Goes to show CSOM’ers always prosper. (sorry non-BC folks for the inside joke)

2.   Abby has been at the same accounting firm for the past six years! Here’s a woman not afraid of commitment!

3.   Apparently she knows what pasta porn is…I’ve never heard of it, but I can already tell I want to go to there.

I sent Abby the list of pLAtes left (all 83 of them, oy vey) and she picked out a few options. I of course ignored those options and picked out a dinner at Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger’s Border Grill.

Me – “Jessie, it’s springtime!”

Jessie – “Right….”

Me – “That means it’s green corn tamales season!”

Jessie – “I don’t think I’ve seen those at the seasonal farmers market…”

Jessie, Abby and I met John and Kelly at the original Border Grill near the Santa Monica Promenade (a new outpost has opened up downtown) for a fun Friday night dinner.

When it comes to rating Mexican restaurants, I take 3 important factors into consideration: Margarita, Salsa and Guacamole. For example, El Compadre has great margaritas (that they light on fire), but the salsa is terrible. Marix has amazing guacamole, but their frozen Margaritas become watery too quickly. Meanwhile, El Coyote is just crappy all around.

Here at Border Grill, the salsa must have been a hit with everyone because we ran out of our two baskets of (extra thick) chips before the guacamole even came out!

Kelly – “This guac is good, but I like Chiptole’s a little better.”

Abby – “What is this weird piece of lettuce for?”

Jessie – “Hmm…maybe use it as a chip?”

Me – “That’s an awfully big chip!”

The aforementioned Green Corn Tamales (and the reason we came) are served as an appetizer and come in orders of three. We opted to get two servings so everyone would be able to have their own. As the steaming corn-husk-wrapped tamales arrived, there were more than few puzzled looks around the table.

Me – “What is this?”

Jessie – “I dunno it’s your pLAte.”

John – “I feel like I’m opening a present”

Kelly – “How many presents have you ordered that steam comes out of?”

John – “You don’t want to know.”

As we carefully unwrapped the neatly tied corn-husk wrapping paper (predicted to be all the rage this holiday season), inside was a

generous serving of a sweet corn cake of sorts. If creamed corn came in a slightly more solid form, that would be what this dish tasted like.

Kelly – “It’s like a deconstructed corn bread.”

Me – “So Top Chef of you Kelly!”

Still steaming hot minutes later, everyone devoured their individual tamale in quick fashion. The mushy texture and melt in your mouth sensation coupled a sweet kick has me thinking about heading back for another order.

Abby – “I’m gonna try something crazy. Green Corn Tamale on a tortilla chip!”

Jessie - “That’s it! You’re cut off!”

Kelly – “I wonder what else you can cook in a corn husk?

Jessie – “It’s like saran wrap for Mexicans!”

While the tamales were an instant hit, a few of the main dishes fell somewhat flat. I decided to order the Chicken Chilaquiles, which was described as a Mexican version of lasagna. Sounds like a dream come true right?!?

Sadly, most of the cheese wasn’t melted and none of the flavors really stood out as unique components.

Meanwhile, Abby’s fried pepper wasn’t quite as crispy as she would have hoped. However the cheese blend was a “delight”.

Jessie’s pork was good, but the best parts were the burnt pieces buried deep underneath the heaping pile of meat.

Abby – “So how does this all work, you write it up and we see it on the blog in a few days?”

Me – “Yea, in theory.”

John – “More like a few weeks.”

Me – “So Abby, getting back to that noodle porn…”

Jessie – “Insert noodle joke here.”

Border Grill

1445 4^th Street

Santa Monica, CA 90401

FooDetour - What I Ate on Our Northwest Vacation

It was a trip a whole week and a half in the making...when John and I found ourselves with a few days off at the same time, we quickly snatched up flights and hotel rooms for a tour through the Pacific Northwest.

On the agenda for the five day jaunt: rest, relaxation and ROAD FOOD. Armed with Jane and Michael Stern's trusted guide to the best dives America has to offer. What follows is a pictorial post featuring some of the delicious diversions we found along the way.

Beth's Cafe

Seattle, WA

Beth's TWELVE egg omelete stuffed with veggies on a bed of all you can eat home fries and toast! Impossible to finish you say...John's appetite has no limits.

Norma's Ocean Diner

Seaside, OR

Fish and Chips for John, I went with the dungeness crab and clam chowder. 

VooDoo Donuts

Portland, OR

Side Note: While in Portland, I fulfilled a life-long dream: 

Beating The Simpsons Arcade Game...knock that one off the bucket list!

Emmett Watson's Oyster Bar

Seattle, WA

The Crumpet Shop

Seattle, WA

English muffin + savory and sweet = British Brilliance!

Lewis and Clark may have blazed the Oregon Trail, but Hundgen and Kazlauskas gave new meaning to a culinary inhale. The good news, we're not the only one's with an eating problem in the Northwest...

Think there's room for us to squeeze in?